Monday, March 31, 2008

Heaven and Hell

between heaven and hell
that’s where you’ll find me

there are so many sublime moments
in my life
there are so many painful moments
in my life as well

there are days when i crave physical pain
beyond reason and my limits
because the physical pain washes everything out
washes out the emotional pain

i float away in a limbo of emotions and sensations
a cloud created out of my own nerve endings
sometimes the synapses just won’t stop snapping
and my mind screams for a reboot
but there is no off switch for this switch

cravings overwhelm me
the craving to be punished
the craving to punish

makes me just want to hit something hard
just to hit something
just to feel something different
just to feel

there are times when i don’t even have a name for what i am feeling
because it’s also so new and strange
i circumnavigate this new galaxy of desire
and feel weird things and weirdness inside and out

these past few months I’ve oversaturated my brain
with all things fetish and bdsm
out in the public world
but the jury is still out
about what i really want
because all of it, every single crumb,
pales in comparison
to the unbearable excitement i felt
in 10 years of private experience

so what do i want
yes what do i want

maybe i want
something that is yet to be discovered or defined

i miss being brought over the edge and back
i want that
i want that body and mental high so much
but i want so much a new form of it

somewhere

somewhere between heaven and hell
i hope to find it.

***Angel

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Mystress Lady Evyl: A Dash Of Vanilla, A Dusting of Kink, And So Much More

Isn't life just funny sometimes?

Lately I've been experiencing a dislocation in time and space as I've been discovering people I knew in the vanilla world also have a taste for fetish, bdsm and other wickedly wonderful things.

A case in point: my very good friend, Mystress Lady Evyl .

We met during some great and fun activities in the vanilla world and it's been a pleasure to make her acquaintance and share more than a few laughs and good times.

Due to a funny chain of events, we recently discovered that both of us were into BDSM in a big way, much to my delight. How was I to know that one of my vanilla friends happened to also be a new and hot up-and-coming Dominatrix? Simply wonderful, I thought.

Lady Evyl is indeed a blonde bombshell whose beauty and wicked wit has captivated more than a few (probably a multitude) of slave applicants. There is just something about her deliciously *Evyl* laugh and wicked blue eyes that draws in those thirsting subs dying to serve this blonde beauty...;)

Well, good luck to all candidates as Lady Evyl is notoriously picky and selective.
Ah but I am sure if you might be lucky enough to be considered, you will be thrilled in serving someone who is such a natural and delightfully dominant Domme.

Angel :)

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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Switching Voices: A Journey Within and Without

So what does a switch sound like anyway?

This is a question I've been asking myself lately. In discovering my own voice, whether in my virtual or real-time interactions and in my writing, I've been finding my way and my voice at the same time.

I've looked at how other switches communicate and what they say about themselves which has been a fascinating journey all on its own. Many complain that lots of dominants treat them as simple subs and expect them to automatically kowtow to them, for their supposedly higher position in the bdsm hierachy. Well, you can imagine that attitude just does not impress your "average" switch. lol Sometimes the switch voice can be cheeky or flirty...sometimes the switch voice just sounds all too human. Switches, from what I have seen so far, are all unique in their own way, so I can't honestly say I've found a particular "switch tone" among my fellow switches out there.

Well, I've decided that my own switch voice will be just whatever I want it to be.

Sometimes I will write from the submissive perspective, and sometimes from the dominant side of things. And sometimes I will just be somewhere in the gray area, that curious noman's land, of switchspace.

My own switch voice is also obviously shaped by the person I have evolved into after 39 odd years on this earth. One perspective I write from is from the perspective of a writer. Yes, because for me I am a writer, and I've written poetry and stories since I first learned how to write. It's an inherant and essential part of who I am. One of my dreams is to be published...and one day I know I will be. I have also written many things in the vanilla world and will have a vanilla blog soon somewhere in cyberspace to upload the ton of material I've amassed from my everyday life.

My switch voice is filled with dreams and poetry and other wonderful things.
If you follow along with me dear reader, you will see some glimpses of me and my journey and uncover some small mysteries about This Enigmatic Angel.

Come travel with me!

Angel :)

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Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Switch Of My Dreams

I worship your body with my tongue.
You massage every inch of my skin with tenderness.

I slap your face and then kiss it.
You twist my nipples hard as you taste my lips.

You wrap my hair in your hands and pull me down to my knees.
I grab the back of your head with my hands and pull you down deep.

You fuck me hard and deep and never stop.
I fuck you back with a vengeance and then some.

You whip me mercilessly into sweet sublime subspace.
My cane drives you deep into the seductive heart of subspace.

We fight and wrestle and grapple with each other, shredding skin and fabric.
We fall asleep later in each other's arms because we both need after-care.

I dream of you.
I dream of finding you...somewhere...out there...

***Angel ~ today

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tripping the wires of desire

it becomes like a drug
the intensity of the moment

you crave it so
you need your fix

you need that explosion inside your mind
and the complete and utter surrender of your flesh

your senses become fire and consumed with the flame of desire
just one spark of the match
and you are gone
consumed by the passion
inside and out

your mouth stretching in that wide round O
not able to contain the wicked shudders shivering through your flesh
not able to contain the indescribable sound of total consuming release
the echoes continue to sound and bounce off in your mind
even after the physical sound is emptied out

until you are emptied out
like a rag doll boneless and rubbery cast aside
after the play is done

ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

too much to be contained

and yet you crave more of this

the flesh shaped and molded into a lava white molting sun
a nova crashing
crashing your mind body and soul

until there is nothing left
but the colour
white

the whiteness of it

the whiteness of the never-ending high
it takes you days and days to come down from
the whiteness of the never-ending climax
that goes on and on and on

yes

it’s your drug
it’s your fix

and the moment is not even over

but yet
oh yet

you need the next fix

again and again and again….

***Angel ~ March 8, 2008

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Angel and her angels aka The Genesis of The Enigmatic Angel


How did The Enigmatic Angel Come To Life?

A long time ago, as a little kid I had a fascination with angels. Over the years, I collected all kinds of angels: angel artwork, angel stickers, Christmas Angels, white angels, blue angels, angels in every shape and size, angels angels everywhere. I guess early on I became my own guardian angel as well.

As the innocent angel that I was began to develop a taste for kink and other wonderful things, my angelic connection morphed into something new and strange. When I met my Master that I served for many years, guess what slave name he decided to give me? You guessed it: angel. So I became this new sweet kind of erotic angel, so eager to please and give pleasure. And I was this angel for many years, going by the name of angel, even after my Master stopped calling me by that name.

Life happened in the mean-time, while I was happily devouring all things bdsm.
After a few major life changes happened, one after the other, I began to question my path as a slave and evolved into a new creature: a switch. The urge came upon me one day to see that sweet look of adoration on someone else's face, not my own, as they looked at me.
Me. Now what a heady thought that was for me, indeed.

That was the day I evolved (in my mind, heart and soul) both privately and publicly, from the sweet little angel into Angel, the switchy sensual
femme who wanted to walk the intricate but tasty tightrope of both desires.

And so Angel came to be....and came.

After looking at the scattered pieces of my various bdsm poetry, short stories, odd journals and miscellaneous thoughts, I decided a blog was finally in order to gather the curious wanderings of my devious mind.

And here you go:
The Genesis of The Enigmatic Angel.

Angel :)

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Inattendu

ce n’est pas évident
quoi faire, je me demande

un regard, long et mystérieux, de l’autre côté de la salle
bien sur
c’est un cliché mais quand même
il y avait quelque chose là

tout un coup
tu deviens fasciné par un moment inattendu
et fasciné avec l’inattendu

c’est qui lui?
mais pourquoi lances-tu dans son monde?
comment agir?
faut-il agir?

la nuit apporte des désirs noirs et sauvages
et tu te laisses tombé dedans pour aucun raison logique

un moment inattendu
avec un inattendu
avec des désirs inattendus…

***Angel ~ Feb. 27, 2008


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please

just one word
keeps turning round and round in my head

the word

please

please please please please please please please

there is so much feeling in that simple little word

Does it tell You something about how i am feeling?

Does it tell You something about how much need i have?
Does it tell You something about how much i am suffering?

a universe of begging wrapped up in one word

the quivering flesh begging to be released
the thirsting mind needing more of the fantasy
the hungry heart dying for more love

so much and so much more
in this trail of pleases

please please please please please please please

the tracks go on and on in my mind
until it becomes a mindless sound

oh please

oh please
oh please..

***Angel ~ Feb. 24, 2008

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wanting

this rhythm
rhythm of desire
beats in my blood
and i can’t help it
can’t help myself
can‘t help the wanting of You
can’t help wanting You so much
You and Your wicked touch
You and Your wicked thoughts
You and Your addictive wickedness
that makes me want to
do anything for You
be anything for You

my body arches with the pain
of unfulfilled desire
and i want to scream
from the sheer frustration
that zings through every cell of my body
the unquenchable thirst
that explodes through all of my senses

i want You
i need You
i want You
i need You

these simple words pulse through my brain
and torture my body

i can’t take it
i just can’t take it
i feel like i am dying from so much want

do You think of me
do You fantasize about me
do You think about all the things
we could be doing together

i want to explore You
i want to taste You
i want to feel You
i want to know You

if only
if only

You will let me.

***Angel ~ Feb. 21, 2008


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silence

in the silence
the eyes speak

they say
will there be more pain?
they say
what will He do next?
they say

i can’t take more excitement

they say
touch me
they say
take me
they say
please
they say
Master
they say
yes.

*** Angel ~ Feb. 20, 2008

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