Well this is certainly a blog about kinky firsts.
I will be reading a selection of my kinky poetry, in English & French, at a public event in town.
This I have never done before. I have shared my vanilla poetry before, at some past events, but never my alternative stuff.
I have also never been to Montreal’s Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre (ALCCVA). What is Montreal’s Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre (ALCCVA) all about, you may ask?
Well, I think the Centre is about some dark & delightful dreams finally coming true in Montreal.
The ALCCVA is all about a host of alternative lifestyle people finding a home & resource, where they all feel welcome. Maybe you are a swinger, or are polyamorous. Gay Leathermen. Furries. Cross dressers. Queer BDSM. Whatever your taste, sexual orientation or kink – you now have a place to turn to.
The Centre offers many workshops and seminars to suit a variety of tastes. Learn how to play safe. It’s all there for you.
Here is a list of what’s coming up at the ALCCVA:
* Sunday, November 21 from 4:30 pm to 6:00 pm
ALCCVA Violet Wand 101 Workshop / Atelier (bilingue)
* Sunday, November 21 from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm
ALCCVA Dark & Erotic Poetry / Poésie erotique et noire Groupe (bilingue)
* Wednesday, November 24 from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm
ALCCVA Medical Hygene Workshop / Hygiène médicale - Atelier (bilingue)
* Saturday, November 27 from 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm
Massage Lovers Group - Groupe Amateurs de massage (Bilingual / Bilingue)
* Saturday, November 27 from 5:00 pm to 9:00 pm
ALCCVA Potluck/ Repas-partage
* Sunday, November 28 from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm
ALCCVA First Aid & CPR Course / Premiers secours de RCR (bilingue)
* Sunday, November 28 from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm
ALCCVA Leather Lifestyles / Style de vie Cuir Groupe (bilingue)
Join the Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre (ALCCVA) on facebook to get invited to all thier special community events:
Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre (ALCCVA) on facebook
Yes, I will be reading a selection of my kinky writes at the ALCCVA Dark & Erotic Poetry / Poésie erotique et noire Groupe (bilingue) event.
If you want to meet this Enigmatic Angel LIVE and in person, this is a rare opportunity to do so.
Those who know me know I rarely attend kinky events in town.
And you know what? I have never even heard of a dark & erotic poetry event being hosted in town. So that’s another kinky first, as far as I know.
Come and see me….if you dare.
Friday, November 19, 2010
An Enigmatic Poetry Reading: The Enigmatic Angel LIVE @ The Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre (ALCCVA)
Well this is certainly a blog about kinky firsts.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It was the perfect audience for a frank discussion: young, open-minded, sexually aware & interested in practicing & promoting safe sex.
The discussion? The McGill University Global AIDS Coalition's panel on “Positive Pleasures: the Stigma of Sex Work and HIV/AIDS.”
This year from November 15 to 18, McGill Global AIDS Coalition will be collaborating with other initiatives like CANFAR and Médecins Sans Frontières to conduct World AIDS Week on the McGill University campus. World AIDS Week is a series of events designed to educate the community about issues relating to HIV, global health, and human rights as well as raise money for the Stephen Lewis Foundation.
Add our kinky community’s very own Contessa Alura & her ground-breaking Alternative Lifestyles Community Centre (ALCCVA) and there you have it – a winning mix to get the message out about alternative lifestyles.
Other panel speakers were McGill University’s Dr. Pierre-Paul Tellier, and Dr. Diane Meaghan, an author of books on the international sex trade.
Dr. Tellier, McGill University's Director of Student Health Services, spoke about the questioning gay and lesbian youth he sees in his practice that are all too often forced to turn to what he called “survival sex”, sex that such youth are forced to turn to survive when they end up on the street. He advocated for very early on sex education in our schools, where children would be taught to see the body as a positive thing, something to be proud of.
Dr. Diane Meaghan spoke of a host of very grim statistics around the world of sex trade workers, who in her words are “criminalized and stigmatized” and who are seriously at risk for HIV infections.
Center stage in both placement and also with the young crowd’s attention, Contessa Alura stood up to talk straight talk (so to speak hehe) about BDSM, what it means, about her experiences as a Pro Domme, and also about her ground-breaking ALCCVA organization, which she hopes will be a resource for a vast range of people from alternative lifestyles, from swingers to kinksters and more.
Here is a little blurb about the ALCCVA:
“The ALCCVA is a free and open space where like minded individuals can meet, share, learn, build and create meaningful relationships, discover, and seek information without fear, judgment, or discrimination.”
All this and more made for a very stimulation discussion and certainly raised a few questions in my mind.
Yes, your kinky intrepid & enquiring reporter (known as yours truly) noticed a few blank spaces that needed some filling.
So I mentioned the “b” word. You’re thinking beyaatch, right? lol
In this case the “b” word was bisexual.
As someone who identifies as being bisexual, I was struck by how this important segment in the sex trade and youth was simply not mentioned at all in this public discussion.
Ah there definitely was a reason for this, I soon found out.
Dr. Tellier admitted that bisexual youth were often left out and felt discriminated by both the gay/lesbian and straight communities and were marginalized.
Dr. Meaghan claimed that not many of the sex trade population identify as truly being bisexual. I really question this personally, as I know so many people in our local kinky community, and pro dommes included, DO identify as bisexual. When I chatted with the lovely Contessa Alura after the discussion was over, she told me she was glad that I brought up the bisexual question, during the Q & A part of the evening. She definitely had her own opinions on that.
I was happy to learn that the ALCCVA has a new & freshly growing group for bisexuals. Definitely something I’ll be checking out. We need more voices for our bisexual community in Montreal, that’s for sure.
Something else I brought up during the Q & A session was the tracking & statistics concerning Pro Dommes and the prevalence of HIV infections within that community.
The Contessa advised the crowd that sadly there is a great lack of tracking with this important question. In a perfect world, yes it would be great to have Pro Dommes studied seriously, with their need for protection and proper BDSM safe practices being promoted and encouraged.
As Contessa Alura said, Pro Dommes are starting younger and younger. As I looked at the young crowd around me, I thought about all the youngsters out there paying their way through university with Pro Domme sessions. This was the perfect young crowd to speak to, to reach that segment, I thought.
Contessa Alura mentioned something that I truly hope comes to pass one day. Just as the LGBTQ community is becoming more & more part of the mainstream and not as alternative as it once was, perhaps one day BDSM will also become part of the main and viewed as healthy and “normal”.
That would make for a Brave New World, indeed.
Kinky food for thought,
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
But seeing a screening of the movie Orgasm Inc. make me want to write something about the connection between BDSM, orgasms, and the vanilla world’s (and North American psychiatric circle’s) definition of what is “normal” in sexual function.
In a discussion with the sexologist present after the film screening, the speakers casually mentioned how so-called sexual dysfunction can be found in the DSM. Most people in the crowd had no clue what the DSM was/is, I have no doubt.
So enter the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) ...soon to be DSM-V. Commonly referred to as the DSM.
What the heck is that?
Well, basically it is the medical “bible” used by doctors and psychiatrists to diagnose aberrant mental behaviors and conditions.
And yes folks, you guessed it – they placed components of BDSM in there.
Now I’ll tell you about me & the DSM & BDSM. You see we have a long history together. Ha!
One of the first books that I ever read that described BDSM was a psychology textbook in college, which described different facets of BDSM, under the DSM category.
This, my kinky friends, was the first “factual”, scientific book that I read that described these strange fantasies that I had been thinking. And since the book is used to diagnose problems, well it definitely gave me a negative view about what I was feeling. Not very encouraging to say the least. Luckily I went on to discover other materials – and people – who explained BDSM in more positive terms. Which made me realize no I was not a freak. Other people felt the way I did. Phew.
An interesting premise of the movie that “female sexual dysfunction syndrome” was actually created by pharmaceutical companies who obviously have a vested interest in pushing the pills and a range of gadgets. Just imagine having a wire stuck into your spine to help you experience orgasms. There is something seriously disturbing about that, that someone would even come up with such a concept. What the sexologist said after the movie made much more sense – that basically people need to talk to each other, to explore their desires and work things out.
That wire looked like something out of a Frankenstein movie to me. Yikes!
But thinking and discussing what is normal in sexual function made me think about BDSM and sexuality. What is normal with that connection?
At the après-film discussion, I asked a few questions about the DSM and the answer I received, to me, seemed to prove the same point as the movie did.
Pharmaceutical companies create so-called sexual dysfunctions. North American psychiatrists sit together to decided what is “normal" sexual behavior and what is dysfunctional behavior and put that info into the DSM version of the year. And thousands of doctors and psychiatrists follow this directive and diagnose accordingly.
Want to know what the DSM says about BDSM?
Check it out:
“Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV)
Paraphilias and Sexual Disorders
Paraphilias all have in common distressing and repetitive sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors. These fantasies, urges, or behaviors must occur for a significant period of time and must interfere with either satisfactory sexual relations or everyday functioning if the diagnosis is to be made. There is also a sense of distress within these individuals. In other words, they typically recognize the symptoms as negatively impacting their life but feel as if they are unable to control them.
Disorders in this Category
First of all, is it not disturbing to see S/M placed in the same category as Pedophilia??
And now let’s look at two specifics here:
Paraphilias and Sexual Disorders
There are different theories related to sexual masochism, many stemming from the psychoanalytic camp. They suggest that childhood trauma (e.g., sexual abuse) or significant childhood experiences can manifest itself in exhibitionistic behavior.
Sexually masochistic behaviors are typically evident by early adulthood, and often start with masochistic or sadistic play in childhood. The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is humiliated, beaten, bound, or made to suffer in some way.
Paraphilias and Sexual Disorders
There are different theories related to sexual sadism, many stemming from the psychoanalytic camp. They suggest that childhood trauma (e.g., sexual abuse) or significant childhood experiences can manifest itself in exhibitionistic behavior.
Sexually sadistic behaviors are typically evident by early adulthood, and often start with masochistic or sadistic play in childhood. The disorder is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual is sexually aroused by causing humiliation or physical suffering of another person.”
So apparently we all got messed up in childhood and that’s why we like pain/like causing pain?
You know, on the one hand I really enjoyed watching the movie and discussion, because it opened my mind a lot to the North American view on sexuality and the impact that pharmaceutical companies have on whether or not we feel we are “normal”.
On the other hand, these DSM psychiatrists have a ways to go before they understand people like us, the kinky folk, the fetishists, the transvestites & transgendered, and the oh so many variations of BDSMers out there.
Where do we go from here?
Should we even try to make inroads in the psychiatrist community to be better understood?
Kinky food for thought.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you're looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you're going to find it here.
Important e[lust] update: e[lust] will be going on hiatus for the holidays. The editions for November and December would both occur around the holidays and I know I'll be short on both submissions and judges as well as personal time. e[lust] #22 will return in January, with ample advance warning, so please make sure you're subscribed for updates!
~ Featured Post (Lilly's Pick) ~
D/s Without the D/s? - This is one of those situations in a real time D/s relationship where much of the "fun"aspects of the D/s needs to be stuffed in the closet for a bit. And for us, it's not a great time to be either a masochist or a sadist. We can deal with that.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
Yes, Jelly Sex Toys Can be Dangerous - Even if a jelly rubber toy says "phthalate-free" it still can contain toxic chemicals that can cause skin reactions in some people. These toys are still non-porous and can harbor dirt and bacteria because they cannot be sanitized.
~ This Week's Top Three Posts ~
Unfortunately, this edition has no Top Three picks as I didn't have enough volunteer judges. If you'd like to volunteer to help, visit this page to find out more info and ensure that the Top Three picks continue.
See also: Pleasurists #101 and #100 for all your sex toy review needs.
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the "read more" tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
blindfold *****************my post*******************
Fantasy: Movie Night
Gabrielle, Guest Star
I Still Don't Know How You Taste
Monday Morning 2am
New Erotic Story For The Holidays - Tinsel Temptation
Putting the car into park
The Ordeal (Part Four)
The Sweetest Violation
The Young Mom
The Soccer Mom
Timeless in a Window's Light
Kink & Fetish
A space to hate and rage and be angry (photo story)
Beyond the Bedroom
Does liking Helmut Newton equal a fetish?
Happy Halloween: Light Me Up
I am all pins and needles
Kink and Fibromyalgia
Ownership and Monogamy
Punishing the servants
Switching It Up
The Sacred Swinger Holiday: Halloween!
the most amazing night with HIM
The Right Question
Wax on, wax off!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
All Roads Lead to Acceptance... I hope!
Dear boyfriend, I love you. And your cock.
Having Great Goddamned Expectations
If You Google it, I will Answer #9
I Don't Know If I've Ever Been Really Loved By a Hand That's Touched Me
How to Massage Man's G-spot
My Coming Out Story
National Coming Out Day
Recovering From Anorexia
Sadie's Condom PSA