There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the fetish events in town (that´s the fetish ones - not the BDSM ones) have a majority of young kinksters. And honestly, alot of the marketing is geared at that demographic.
I see more & more events and things being organized for the under 40 (and under 35 crowd). I even saw an interesting kinky vampire movie casting call out recently - and all the female characters were young.
Is that what people want to see? Do these young kinksters who keep getting younger, all want to run away from the older pervs?
I´ve heard that even expressed from friends as well, that emphasis on looking for someone/something young & hot.
I find this highly ironic in some ways. In my vanilla life, about 90% of my friends are younger than I am. I still feel like a kid myself inside. I have no problem relating to those younger friends. And they seem to get something positive out of my friendship with them.
I don´t feel old, but lots of segments in our society would classify me as old because I´m 40. What is 40 supposed to feel like? I don´t feel old. If anything, I actually felt freer & younger when I turned 40. It´s the fearless factor I think. Suddenly I didn´t give a damn about many things and just want to drink life in. It´s been great.
But I remember being in my 20s and thinking 40 was ancient. Hmm maybe I should scratch that. Looking back, I dated/saw/played with several men who were in their 40s, when I was in my 20s.
I see that age attitude today, in the local kinky scenes.
Oh yes, there is a good strong contingent of the 40 + and even 50+ crowd.
Personally, I feel comfortable talking to everyone young, old & everyone.
But I don´t understand this great prizing of the young, hot kinksters - why so many seek this young flesh to play with and preference for it. I prize maturity over youth. By then again, my ideas of beauty in general I have come to realize so many times, are quite different from the norm. I have been with many different kinds of men. Some men that I was seeing that made women jealous because they were perceived as being ¨gorgeous¨, others who may have seemed ordinary to different eyes. All of them had something special for me. Just as my taste in women is quite different as well.
So where is this kinky age thing going?
When all those aging kinky babyboomers retire from the scene, will the kinky youngsters inherit the earth?
Kinky food for thought.
Angel
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6 comments:
Absolutely, the love of youth, firm flesh and unlimited horizons has permeated BDSM. It is not an intellectual state wherein being reasonable trumps being physical.
In fact, why wouldn't a man who wants total control not be waiting on H.S. grad day for a sweetie to arrive?
Why would our youth not wish to expand their boundaries and be kinky with...each other? It is like Facebook, but in leather with a drink afterward and Twitter updates.
As you said, you value maturity over youth. Most people have not though that far ahead.
When a man more than 10 years my senior tries to see my underpants up close ( that is what they want--they don't care about my inner beauty), I ask him what is he looking for, really. Is is just physical attraction or does he see some magical shit going down because I was in utero when he bust his 1st nut in a woman?
I get a number of responses to that but the right one is simply that he like my looks and wants to screw. Anything else, I discard, along with him.
B/c he can find a woman his age, to do all the shit he likes and probably some things I am too prudish to do. He just doesn't want to.
I like men my age, and I creep up the scale towards 40, I get weary of the younger and the older. It is supposed to be just sex but as a woman, it is not always for me.
And the kinky baby boomers are not ever gonna retire. That is totally against their nature!
Hurray for your post. I think you nailed it when saying the young are the new wave...but mostly in the fetish scene. It is still a bit of a factoor in BDSm but less...because we need the ones woth experience to pass down the proper wisdom. It a much wider age group at a bdsm event.
@Liras:
Well you really paint a very well-detailed picture of the pervy older man, that´s for sure. I know I picture the guy wearing the raincoat lurking where young coeds hang-out. Oh and I have had my share of those darken my path, when I was younger.
But I have always had a different view - and different experience with older men, in general. Maybe because I was intellectually precocious, at an early age I had deep meaningful discussions with older men. Even when I was young, the hot young studs for the most part bored me. But I always went for the different guys. The nerdy, the geeky, the eccentric, the brainy - the somewhat different.
I had older lovers who introduced me to hot jazz, beautiful poetry, the wonders of science fiction and more.
I just clicked with them. And yes, they did date women their age before & after me. Our paths crossed and that was that.
You supposition also describes only the older male/younger female ratio.
I have seen older women bragging about the hot young male & female subs they had serve them as well.
I have to admit this part of your comment cracked me up:
¨...he see some magical shit going down because I was in utero when he bust his 1st nut in a woman?¨
It is so eloquent, so descriptive, well-put, and hilarious.
Thanks for sharing,
Angel :)
@Mystress Lady Evyl:
Yes, I agree the BDSM scene is much more diverse, age-wise. And there is an appreciation of the kinky elders passing on their traditions.
But more and more it seems the youth element growing even in that arena. There are a few local groups that are specifically targeted now to the young BDSM demographic. You know, the happy hours and so on, that have been taking place in town. And I suspect that number is steadily, steadily growing.
There are also the older mainstays of the BDSM scene who don´t host events as often as they used to. Like the BDSM Circle.
All that is why I am wondering what direction the public scene is going in, these days.
More kinky food for thought.
Thanks for sharing,
Angel :)
EA, I am not sure what the older ones with brains are doing. Probably too busy playing with other sensible kinky friends, thus no time for passing down creamy pearls of wisdom?
As for pervs--they are like weeds, steadily growing, always there.
I like men off the beaten path, as well as those standing square in the middle of the way I am going. There is nothing more fun than a diversion, at times.
I look for men like me, least in their thought process and life expectations. I never run out of lush green grass to roll about in.
I also like to discover things with a guy, not only be taught. Not that it is a problem but a man old enough to be my daddy had better know a lot and have a bunch to share. He should have been living and growing in a number of ways, and he had better-if we are going to be getting intimate.
As for the young and boring... Ahem. I like a man that keeps his own counsel ( like I can ever ever EVER get hat lucky), so the slightly dumb can get a bit of my attention. Until they try to start talking, then never mind.
Every person is different but the nicest thing for me is a guy my age, b/c he is not in that rush. I haven't met an older man who wants trying to make sure that we did not 'waste time'. So, it was always more involved, more urgent, more a bunch of stuff that was not useful to me. Or him, even if he disagreed.
But I think I am in the minority, as a lot of women prefer older guys.
Until I die, I have time. And every so often, I do like to waste some.
Here's hoping that things in the whole arena even out. If not, there will be more cliques, I suppose.
Always here to crack a joke,
-L
@Liras:
Well now I am starting to wonder if I have been experiencing older men & older lovers in ways outside the norm.
All the older men I encountered were very very patient. It was the youngsters who seemed so impatient to ¨get it on¨. In fact, all the young dudes into ¨cougars¨, who do not cease to approach me, want to hook up & hook up right away. One ¨boy¨ was even willing to literally hop into his car right away & drive miles & miles to spend the night with me.
And my older lovers introduced me to things (introduced - not taught)- just as I introduced them to new things as well. Be they cerebral, kinky, or everything in between.
There was only one older lover who was more of a ¨teacher¨ with me - but that is a long story I won´t go into.
One of the greatest older lovers I ever had was my friend - only a friend nothing more - for 2 years before anything developed in other areas.
So what are all the kinky women experiencing out there?
With the kinky youngsters, and older lovers?
Some of my female friends like older men. But just as many like younger ones.
I find it fascinating to hear your perspective because it makes me better understand some things. It also made me realize my experiences have been so very different.
I appreciate the further elaboration.
Angel
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