why

Why

I’m asking myself why I blog and write this particularly enigmatic blog.

I think it’s good to re-ask the question sometimes.

Today it struck me how incredibly intimate a kinky little blog like mine can be.
Even when I write in my most cryptic, enigmatic of ways.

The question is: do I still want to blog here, in this enigmatic space?
I don’t know the answer to that.

Part of that answer is because my bdsm interests have gone through such a sea change, that I hardly recognize them these days.

My relationship to pain has changed. The submissive part of me has changed.
And the dominant part of me has shifted her gaze onto other things as well.

So, am I still kinky?
Yes and no. I’m frankly not sure.

I know I have been spending much much more time with experiments in the vanilla world. I’ve been busy dating. And dating a lot. Even my vanilla dating patterns have changed.

I just don’t know where my kinky footing is right now.

I’ve always been somewhat of a unique creature on the bdsm side of things, somewhat of a rogue that didn’t quite fit anywhere. I was fine with that. I knew it would be quite the challenge to find any play partners that would get me, because of my eclectic and different interests.

But now I am wondering if I have just completely gone through a change on an elemental level.

Well, the jury is out on this kinky folks.
Think I will have to go out and see if I can grok this fully.
Be back later.

Angel