Monday, August 11, 2008

Sex Bloggers, Traffic, Kinky Festival...and the Public vs. Private Debate


Sex Bloggers and Traffic


Well, it's amazing just how many things have happened in my little BDSM universe this week. Some highs and lows...and lots to make me think yet even more enigmatic thoughts.

Well, to begin with, for a brief millisecond, I was part of a sex bloggers group site.
Now isn't that just...odd.

When I was invited to join the site, I admit that I had doubts about being part of the project. But I was reassured that they were trying to find a very large cross-section of bloggers to add more flavour. So I went ahead and joined. And tentatively posted just one post to test the waters. One of my poems. Which I've added to at least 3 blog sites, including this Enigmatic Angel blog. Now, this particular poem had received some very strong reactions when I posted it before. But on the sex bloggers site? Zip. Nada. Nunca. Niente. So I stood back aways, looking at this sex blogger project unfold and see what kind of content would start to shape the site. Oh yes, there was lots of sex. But also lots and lots of sex toy reviews, with the appropriate affiliate links attached. Well, actually a whole page was devoted to Reviews. So I started to see where things were headed.

I have nothing against sex bloggers, really. I enjoy reading sex blogs when I am in the right mood for it.

But I'm not a sex blogger. Yes, what I write can be exciting and sometimes sensual. But very little of the content of my blog site is sexual. It's much more about the mental state of mind that comes with BDSM. And the BDSM in my world does not necessarily come (ha!) wrapped in sex. That's just me.

What my writing (and this blog) is about is a hint of kink. A touch of fetish. And a helluva lot of BDSM. That's what I am all about. And yes, first and foremost - I am a writer. I love writing my poetry. Whether it's my vanilla poetry which is featured on my 4 vanilla blogs out in the blogosphere. Or whether it's my more sensual and bdsm-flavoured offerings, posted right here on The Enigmatic Angel.

So while I was making up my mind & dealing with my ambivalent feelings about being part of a sex bloggers group - they decided to make my mind up for me - by giving me what they called the gentle boot.

Oh yes, I had become too small a fish to swim in their waters. Not when they were busy writing splashy intros for sex writers who wrote for the N.Y. Village Voice and the like. I had neither the traffic numbers - nor the blogosphere fame (or infamy) that they were interested in.

Ah well. C'est la vie as they say. You know it didn't even make me angry, truth be told. I didn't feel great about the project, so it just made my mind clearer that it was good for me not to be involved in that project.

I can't argue against people who believe in numbers and traffic. They have their value in the blogosphere. Lots of people have respect for them.

You know, I got a real taste of the thrill of numbers when I participated in the Sugasm for a few weeks. Oh my goodness, did my traffic numbers go through the roof! Oh yes - that was a delicious moment. Quite the thrill.

But then I started to think, what do numbers mean?
I'll tell you what numbers are most important to me.

The amount of time a reader spends on my blog - and the number of pages they view.

I really wish I could know who those readers are - the ones who get me or really want to know me.
You know, the ones who spend the most time on my blog site.
The ones who view the most pages.
The ones who add me to their special blog rolls - not the ones who SAY they will add me...and never do.

Thank YOU
so much to all those who added my blog to your own site!
And those priceless treasures - the readers who return, time and time again, to read my blog.

Now if you are one of those readers - please, I'd love to hear from you!
Tell what it is that you're reading. Leave a comment (oh those treasured comments) or send me a private msg through my Contact The Enigmatic Angel link.

Why are you spending time on my blog?
Kinky enquiring minds want to know!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kinky Festival Thoughts

This Kinky Festival week-end was quite an eventful one that also made me think of what was important to me, in terms of my interest in BDSM.

Saturday afternoon was fun because I helped out my good friend Lady Evyl at her funSexxxtoys booth.

Oh I met many interesting people while helping out at the Merchant expo. The highlight for me of the whole Kinky Festival was by far meeting and chatting with Lew Rubens, internationally-acclaimed Rope Artist and so much more. Now why was meeting him such a highlight? Because he was really such a great guy! And funny! Really great to chat with. That was a wonderful moment meeting Lew, the "Bondage Consultant" for Kink.com. Oh and I chatted with him about how he shot my very favourite bondage picture of his. You just have to see it - it's SO amazing. You can find it here. Well, anyway, I was really impressed when I met Lew in person. How rare it is to meet someone so famous, who is also so genuine and down-to-earth.

Later on that night, I had fun doing a private photo shoot with
Lady Evyl and her sweet submissive Anastasia. It was great to try out some ideas I had in my head of what would be great to shoot of the two of them. There are a few very special shots that came out of that. It was delightful to shoot them, really.

And of course, Saturday night was the night of the Kinky Festival's probably most-hyped highlight of the whole week-end - the Dark Fairy Tales Ball. Les Bains Mathieu was really cool and atmospheric and I enjoyed the ambiance. But being at that party made me think of my very own Dark Fairy Tale - the story of my last 10 years of practising BDSM. And you know what? When I came home, I decided my private play sessions are what I want to concentrate on more. Nothing compares to that intensity, and the depth of my private experiences. So, you will be seeing less of this Enigmatic Angel at public events, while I focus more on my private life.

Fact is, I am a very private person by nature. Hard to believe of someone who has 5 blogs, right? But it's true, nevertheless. I am enigmatic by nature and by choice.

And that's all she wrote.

Angel :)

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6 comments:

Mystress Lady Eyvl said...

Well I wish I could be as mature about the sex blog site as you, myself also being a victim of the gentle 'boot'.

I do not care about the numbers either, I enjoy writing my blog, as you do, for my pleasure and hopefully of the others. Of course higher numbers is flattering.

What angers me most is the hypocrisy of it all since we know those who kicked us off for our being 'commercial' are doing this for their own profit.

Which is why, as I wrote on my blog, I will retaliate by creating my own blog conglomerate site not aimed at money but inviting everyone with a BDSM positive blog to join....your wonderful idea my friend.

As for this wkds happenings it was definitely a fun event having you help me and meeting Lew and others, partying. I am just sorry to know I will not have you with me sharing those events much anymore :-(

Thank you again for all your help this wkd, your constant support and your friendship.

Mystress Lady Eyvl

Angel said...

@Mystress Lady Eyvl:

Well you know they never gave me the "commercial" argument, for removing me from the sex bloggers blog.

No, I was told I was being removed for 2 reasons:

1. I post sporadically on my blog. That is to say, I don't blog every day.

2. My blog hasn't been around very long and isn't well-established, according to their criteria.

So, truth be told they are right.

But I'm not going to change the frequency how often I post to suit another website. I post when the muse strikes. It's that simple.

And yes, my blog has not been around that long. Most of the sex bloggers that they kept have literally been blogging for years. And are known all over the bloguniverse, as a result.

That's all fine and dandy, but what does that do to a site?

Basically you have a group of people who have been around for ages and most of whom probably know each other. Well, they blog about each other a lot, that's for sure. Just witness one blog post about a crush on a fellow blogger that has made its rounds on their blogs.

So, there is no room for new blood who may inject the site with something fresh. They were new bloggers once as well, n'est-ce-pas?

That's OK.
We're better off not hanging out in their little clique, I think.

As for this weekend, it was my pleasure to help out a bit and hang out and meet people.

My friendship and support is always there for you, regardless of whether I am active on the public scene or not.

And your friendship and support has been priceless for me.

Thank you for that.

Angel :)

selkie said...

I've always found it amusinginly curious that so many of these sex bloggers have SO much time and SO much sex; if I believed it for one moment , I MIGHT be jealous LOL

Like you, I blog when the spirit strikes (and time permits) - and I find it restrictive to keep my thoughts in narrow parameters that would fit someone else's concept of blogging.

Like you, there is sometimes sensuality, sometimes kink, sometimes just thoughts, sometimes poems (not my own - that would be cruel and unusual punishment) -

I make a conscious effort to not worry about numbers (which is a good thing LOL) - becuase I had to seriously look at why I blog and came to the understanding a long time ago, I do it for ME - to relieve and vent, to think things through, simply to be creative.

I read blogs like yours and it is your very honesty and the variety of your thoughts that intrigues and delights. It is like opening a surprise package when I come to your page - to find something - from a poem to a story to some sensual, lovely thoughts!

cinful said...

Yes, I was part of that project too...for a few days. If you're interested here's how it went down for me.

cinful.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/a-new-project-kinky-sex-links/

I think we're a bit alike in our approach to blogging. I'll add you to my blogroll. :-)

Angel said...

@selkie:

You know I was just innocently drinking my coffee when I read your comment and what you said about sex bloggers and sex almost made me snort my coffee up my nose I laughed so hard! But it's too true! It's IMPOSSIBLE for people to have that much sex and have all this time to write about it as well. I never thought about that. Thanks for the laugh. :)

I hate restrictions as well, particularly when it comes to my writing and people can lump it or leave it. It's obvious what the sex bloggers decided in my case.

Well your comments about my blog and blog comment really made my day and made me smile. Thank you for that.

I love reading both your blogs as well. Your stories are such a sensual treat - like my favourite flavour of ice cream stracciatella (not available in Canada alas). And I enjoy reading your thoughts on life as well, and your special sharing of your life journey. :)

Angel said...

@cinful:

That's a great blog about your own ousting as well. I liked that line about karma in particular!

And I am excited as well in being part of Lady Evyl's new BDSM bloggers project - kinkysexlinks.com. Should be fun!

It would be super if you added my link to your own blog - many thanks! And I shall go right now and add your own interesting blog to my tasty blog links. :)